Faithful readers will want to know...

… about Brian’s heart first of all. The rumour was true and he does have one and in early summer trundled along to the specialist as requested for further investigation. He sat down, the heart bloke looks at him and says how do you feel? "Awright", says Brian. "You look ok to me too", the geezer says, "come back and see me in 12 months". God bless the NHS.

So another summer ticked by. In years gone by I thought winter was for maintenance and summer for stock building. In fact, the timber warps if cut when it’s very hot so we cracked on with enlarging the woodsheds and piled the trunks we had acquired up for a scrum down in the autumn.

A minor setback when an Ash tree fell on the woodshed during a summer storm was quickly dealt with.

Many customers have come to the woods...

… in the past five years and no doubt before that when OAG was around and thought this place could do with a bit of work. Some have made helpful suggestions. One came back every month and put his time and effort in, to push us into improvements.

John, a retired engineer has the courage of his convictions. He also does a bit of convicting on the local Mags Court bench but that’s another story. Over the last couple of years John has encouraged, led and pushed for improvements in the way we cut, stack and sell our timber. His work is not yet done but anyone who hasn’t been over for a couple of years will see the difference.

Useful people to know…

… new customer Mike on loading up with wood and promising to return. “I have 250 mates in my wood club, I’ll tell them!"

Paul, Dad of Bruce, our nearest and longest serving customer, "I sit on Parish council for removing trees like Yew with preservation orders, do you want me to have a word with owners?” [Do we!]

Chap coming to woods for first time on finding our moisture meter in front of Landrover. "It’s my company that make these - do you want a discount?"

Curry Motors are nice people…

... to do business with, so their ad says. Actually they are – I’ve bought a car from them. We are different in that we only do business with nice people. By picking and choosing a bit we save hassle. We have favourites - I particularly like those with loads of cash and a poor grip of maths. Brian likes those that give him a drink.

How about this for a best customer...

... Glenn, not only does he visit regularly and spend a load of money but he also came with us when Brian was struggling with his gall bladder and lugged a load of walnut across a very big garden. This is more than enough for us to be always pleased to hear from him, but he’s gone one better. A year ago he showed me a picture of a rather nice Vienna clock he had made. Taking the hint, the diamond has made me one out of our Sycamore that now has pride of place in my hall - and refused to take any money!

One good turn…

... isn’t usually enough for me but for Glenn, why not? Having told me about restrictions in his workshop I put him on to Mark at Andover Down Sawmill who can flog you the raw materials to make a handsome workshop at a fraction of the cost. The larch for a 14 x 14 foot shed was only £250. He had to put it together himself but was happy to do so and by having it in posts and lap larch it is easier to transport and offload at the other end. I was happy to lend him our trailer.

Exciting dreams at my age…

… don’t always involve women and whipped cream. Occasionally, I dream that I’ll be called by someone who says they have several sheds of seasoned Oak and other stuff and would I like to come and help myself. That is more or less what happened to Mark at the sawmill. There used to be a sawmill at Fox Farm just along the road from him which shut several years ago.

The estate that owns it decided to let the sheds and asked Mark to clear out the timber inside. I helped the lucky bugger load a few truck loads of beautiful seasoned Oak. A lot of the other stuff had gone over the top and become wormy. If they’d made the call a couple of years ago there probably would have been a few thousand more pounds worth of stuff that now is hardly fit for firewood. Still, Mark filled his boots and gave me some of the Beech for helping.

Life is a Beech...

... well a bit of one when it’s selling well and stocks are diminishing. Whilst trundling along a few miles from base Brian spotted a pile of trunks stacked at the edge of a field. Closer investigation showed them to be mostly Beech with a couple of Lime and they looked like they’d been down a while and perfect for the saw. A few enquiries led us to the owner, a lady who lived in Andover. She and her late husband used to farm the land but she now let the land but was open to an offer for the wood. A decent price followed when it was established that my old man was a mate of her husband and had visited to the woods as well as been members of the local stamp club.

In fact, her husband knew our woods quite well and lost his wallet there sometime in the 1950’s - I promised to have a look for it. Gordon collected it for us and despite a bad day when a nail in the first trunk knackered one of Mark’s brand new blades the timber cut well and there are several very interesting piles of it awaiting some lucky woodworker.

I’m gutted to report..

... that Chris West’s foray into the sex toy industry failed to get going. It began with a request for a price for handles that I passed on to him as we don’t do turning. I remarked to him at the time that the customers name sounded like a porn star. (I am knowledgeable in this field.)

It transpired that she ran a fetish website selling amongst other things whips for which the handles were needed. Like the decent bloke he is, Chris sent up samples including an excellent penis shaped one. The client professed to be delighted but never sent any money. She, no doubt, finances her business by getting honest and not rich blokes like Chris to provide stuff for nothing. Still I expect his wife is pleased he didn’t expand, so to speak!

In the next issue around May I will have news of a large amount of Walnut and what we have been up to during the winter. There is going to be a major shake up of pricing of turning blanks – buy now, they won’t get cheaper!

Regards,

Paul Goulden.